11. May 2012 03:54
Mother's Day is coming up quickly, and the kids have been asking me what I'd like as a gift.
Silence is golden, kids.
I love my kids and everything, but (as the Grinch would say) "the noise, noise, noise, noise!" Twenty just came home from college yesterday, so the Summer Season of Bickering is about to start.
Other summer sounds that make me crazy are the Dueling Landscapers. These guys are pros, and they've got the decibels to prove it. I swear they compete to see who can make more noise with their driving mowers on the flat, 1/5-acre lots on my neighborhood. Then they finish it off by using a leaf blower to send every stray bit of grass into the next zip code.
Landscapers are required to wear ear protection when they use equipment like that. The rest of us are not so lucky. If I were Queen (and I'd be happy to run for the job) I'd make those landscapers distribute noise-canceling headphones to all neighbors within a 1/2-block radius of their work.
Come to think of it, that would be a great Mother's Day gift from the kids. With a set of noise-canceling headphones, I could block out the landscapers. I could tune out the neighbors' log-splitter running directly under my dining-room window. I could ignore The Bickersons in the family room and be blissfully unaware of video-game-related disputes among ten-year-old Street Urchins.
Now hear this, kids! Mom wants some peace and quiet for Mother's Day! That would be the best gift ever, next to big hugs from all of you, of course.
TheNerds have a big selection of noise-canceling headphones and you can save $5 on your $50 purchase through May 30!